1. Russian performance artist Pyotr Pavlensky nailed his scrotum to the cobblestones of Red Square in Moscow in protest of the Russian government.

2. Video reportedly captured by a security camera outside a bar in a small Russian town shows the moment a man dispatches two aggressors, each with a single punch.

3. PETA and other animal rights people can be annoying, but in this case, we hope they annoy the crap out of Russian writer Elena Lenina; she of the pink dead kitten.

4. Russian writer Elena Lenina is very upset at being called a cat killer after media outlets like ourselves charged her with cruelty with scant evidence. But, hey, that’s our job.

5. Desomorphine, known as “krokodil” for the scaly, peeling skin it produces in its users, is a synthetic opiate that can be readily synthesized from codeine and a few other ingredients.

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